Remembrance

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I remember the first time I met my blood-father. How I compared him to a hunting wolf, not to be trifled with, how I dared to challenge him...

But that was on my own territory, with the full weight of Celestial Covenant behind me. And though I was older now, twenty three now to my seventeen at the time, I was still a pup compared to him. And now I was trying to challenge him on his own turf.

His living room to be precise.

Selas and Asari sat behind me in chairs, one at each shoulder. There wasn't much they could do for me, of course, but they were more there as moral support than anything.

Unfortunately, when faced with one of the oldest Fallen, they were just as cowed as I was, and just as determined to not show it.

"You want what, now?" Kyran frowned, leaning back in his seat and taking a sip at his ice wine.

I brushed strands of my translucent smoke gray hair from my eyes, then fixed him with a look. "I want," I repeated, "to be accepted as a Fallen."

I tensed, waiting for him to explode in wrath, to yell, to curse, to do... anything! Instead he sat quietly, pondering my words as he stared with ice edged eyes into his glass of wine. Behind me, Asari shifted, restless with all the sitting around and politeness. Selas held completely still, barely blinking, her pale blue gaze fixed firmly on Kyran's form. I considered myself exceedingly lucky to have the two of them with me... I'm not sure I would have had the courage otherwise.

It was Selas who had first suggested it, as we stood outside in the snow, three Christmases after that meeting with my blood father.

"You're not a Pure Lost, you know." She had said, staring up at the flakes that drifted down upon us. "We're Pure Lost, weak as we may be. But you, you're something else. What did you get on your last Test? A fifty? Only Fallen have scores that high."

"Selas and I, we got twenty two." Asari had added with a flick of her head, tossing her braided hair back over her shoulder. "Not spectacular, but we're still young, so there's always chance we'll improve."

"You realize the effect that will have on Fallen society?" Kyran's words drew me back from my memories. "There is no precedent of this ever happening before."

"Maybe because this has never happened before!" I leaned forward, desperately trying to get him to see my side of it. "Look, I out-scored you in agility on my last test, and nearly tied you in strength. My dexterity is perfectly tied with yours, and my endurance is only a few points below you. All in all, I have the same overall ranking as you -- fifty five, which is higher than over half the Fallen on record, even when you count the deceased."

"Don't quote scores to me, child." He growled, "Eli, Luna, and I devised those with the help of several leading physicians at the time. Scores don't make or break a Fallen, lifespan does. We are functionally immortal... are you?"

"The doctors say so."

He fell back into his typical silence, letting me resume stewing in my own nerves.

Asari shifted again, one hand beginning to drum on the arm of the chair she was sitting in, before she stopped. A glance behind me showed that Selas had hold of Asari's arm, and was giving her a look designed to still restless children. Needless to say, it worked wonders on Asari.

"Fifty-five this time?" Selas looked up from her book as I walked from the last testing room, sweat dripping from my body. "That ties you with him."

"You should go and ask him to make you a Fallen!" Asari grinned at me from her perch at the top of what I could only describe as a cat perch, with three levels of platforms, each higher than the last. My only thought was that the physicians sure knew how to deal with the more active Lost.

Selas frowned at Asari, "You know as well as I do that there's no chance they'll let this through. As much as they preach open-mindedness, the sad fact is that they're so set in their ways, they'd never accept a new Fallen."

"Trying's better than giving up, y'know?" Asari stuck her tongue out at Selas, then leapt down from her perch. "What's to lose?"

This time, it was Asari that drew me from my thoughts, with her restless shifting. She'd go ballistic soon, I realized. She never dealt well with needing to sit still for long periods of time.

As if realizing it the same time I did, Kyran looked up and fixed Asari with a thoughtful gaze. He remained that way for long seconds, and I could feel the nervous energy rolling off Asari in waves.

"Jahar!" Kyran called, making all three of us jump. A short, older man poked his head into the room, at which point Kyran continued. "Fetch that perch we have. One of my guests is a Pure Lost with the same trouble as Cara."

"Very good, sir." The man vanished, and the room fell into silence once more, except for the restless shifting of Asari as she tried to control herself.

Not that we had to wait long. Within a few short minutes, the same older man and two other, younger men re-entered the room, carrying a massive "perch" between them. It reminded me, vaguely, of the one at the physician's office, but on a much larger scale. It was like a jungle gym of platforms, and stopped barely three feet from the ceiling, meaning that the tallest perch was around six feet in the air.

As soon as the three had settled it to their satisfaction and left, Kyran gestured to Asari, "I will not fault you for your nature, but neither will I force you to remain motionless like the rest of us. Go, work off your energy as you will."

Asari needed no second urging, but bolted straight for the platforms and scaled up them, swift as a feline. There was no hope of getting her back down now, not unless something serious happened, or unless we were about to leave.

"As for you," Kyran redirected his attention back onto me. "This is no decision for just me to make. I don't know whether to praise your timing or deplore it, but there is a full gathering of Fallen in a month. I will be your sponsor for this, but the ultimate decision will be the decision of the collective."

I sighed, relaxing slightly at his words. That was all Gale told me to expect, best case scenario. After all, Fallen were big on the whole, 'we make major decisions that affect all of us together, so that no one is left out of the process' thing.

"Promise you won't forget?"

His lips quirked into a smile, "Raiyan, you should know me better than that, merely from the histories on me. Of course I'll forget... but Jahar won't permit me to. He'll make sure everything is in order for us to go."

I nodded my acceptance. "Alright then. I guess we'll leave, then... that was all I wanted to ask you..."

"Hmm." Kyran tapped a finger against the rim of his wine glass, lips compressed in thought. "Jahar, don't I have a dinner with Eli and Luna sometime soon?"

"Tomorrow night, sir," came Jahar's voice, from a corner of the room, where he had stood without my noticing him, when I had believed him to leave with the other two men. How long had the man practiced that skill, I wondered?

Asari was staring down at him now with curiosity. Apparently, she hadn't noticed him either, and that was downright strange.

"Do you think Sasha could accommodate three more? Pure Lost, as a note."

"I'm sure she would be more than pleased to cook for a larger gathering, if you don't mind my saying, sir," Jahar replied with a slight smile, "Should I tell her to expect it?"

Kyran nodded, "Do. Raiyan, you three are invited to dinner tomorrow night, so that Eli and Luna can meet you. Jahar will tell you the little details that I've forgotten." He gave a self-depreciating smile and a shrug, "I'd never survive without my servants."

I glanced at Selas, who nodded slightly, accepting the invitation. Asari was practically bouncing up and down on one of the platforms, nodding so enthusiastically that I thought her head would fall off. I looked back at Kyran, "We accept, with thanks. We'll see you tomorrow night."

With that, I rose, gesturing for Selas and Asari to follow me, and left the room.